Questionable Choices in Parenting
Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me
Grab those eggs (gently, very gently), round up the kids, and prepare to make a huge mess–maybe a few tears–but mostly fun, mostly. If you’re getting ready to dye eggs with your kiddos, don’t do a thing until you read my 7 Mom Hacks for dying Easter eggs over at TLC. Click right here to read the post!
Listen, I love a good chocolate bunny, but I still have Halloween candy up in this house– and probably Easter candy from last year. So this year we are asking the Easter Bunny to change things up and I’ve got 5 non-candy basket ideas for kids of all ages. I’m sharing these adorable baskets on the Today Show. Bonus–No Easter Grass!! Click here to see the baskets.
I’m a firm believer that if your Mamma doesn’t make a HUGE fuss over your birthday, then who will? Now I’m not saying break the bank on every single birthday for over-the-top parties, gifts galore, and food better than what you had at your wedding, but here’s a few super special traditions that let your birthday boy or girl know you think they’re the bees’ knees and some easy Mom Hacks to take the stress out of throwing a birthday party.
The Big Day Hacks
Decorate Their Door– More than any party or gift, my kids are beyond ecstatic when they wake up on their birthday to find their bedroom doors covered in balloons, crepe paper, and a birthday sign. Decorating the birthday boy or girl’s door while they sleep is inexpensive, super easy, and so worth the payoff when they wake up to see their surprise. Decorated doors are now expected in this house and this year my kids decorated my door for my birthday—seriously, how sweet is that?
Cupcake Breakfast- Around here, if it’s someone’s birthday, you can bet there will be cupcakes for breakfast. Is it over the top, yes. Is a cupcake a good food choice for the morning, absolutely not. Is it a special treat your kids will love, you betcha. I have grand visions of sending cupcakes to my kids when they grow up and are off at college. Maybe it will be a reminder to call their Mom Every Single Day.
Birthday Present Scavenger Hunt– Make their birthday morning an adventure by leaving clues so the birthday kiddo has to go on a scavenger hunt in your house to find their present. The first clue can be waiting on their decorated door.
Birthday Party Hacks
Use What You’ve Got- If the party theme is also your child’s favorite toy, use those toys as part of the décor! Put those Octonauts in the punch bowl and let them go for a swim. Create a Hulk Smash cake with a Hulk action figure. Got a Minions crazed kiddo? Use their Minion figures to decorate the food table.
Pain Free Piñata– Confession: I loathe piñatas at parties. I know, I know, that’s a major kid party foul. Bring out a piñata and the kids get all Hunger Games and that paper candy holder usually isn’t the only fallen tribute. Save everyone a few black eyes and tears by filling your piñata with goodie bags rather than individual candy. When the piñata breaks, everyone grabs a bag and I can breathe a sigh of relief the piñata part is over.
Ice Cream Hack- Don’t get mobbed by ice cream hungry kids at your next party. Pre-scoop ice cream into cupcake liners, place them on a cookie sheet or metal baking tray and pop them in the freezer. When it’s time to serve cake and ice cream, you won’t be up to your elbows in the dessert.
Jazz Up The Balloons– Don’t spend a fortune on decor when you can grab bags of balloons from the Dollar Store and get a little crafty by:
Give Store Bought Cakes a Facelift– Save yourself a lot of money by using these tricks to turn ordinary store bought cakes into extraordinary birthday treats
Balloon Drop- Want to hear the sounds of sheer joy? Create a balloon drop by taping two a plastic table clothes together with painter’s tape (the kind that is sticky but not too sticky). Attach a few long strings on the end of the seam. Attach the table clothes to the ceiling or a ceiling fan and fill with balloons. When you are ready for the drop, one good pull on the strings will make it rain balloons. Yay balloons!
Birthdays should just be really, really, really fun. After all, you’re a mom and that means you probably won’t get to blow your own candles out ever again. And, I’m OK with that.
This post originally ran on my other blog AmandaMushro.com
A year ago The Today Show launched their Parenting Team and for me, it has been life changing. LIFE CHANGING, friends! Because of the Parenting Team, my posts have been featured on Today.com, shared on their Facebook pages, and of course my Today Show appearances. So when I gush about the Parenting Team, it’s for a good reason.
Last week during my fourth appearance on the Today Show, I talked to the digital team about what the Parenting Team is all about and why parents and bloggers should join and they made this awesome video.
I have to warn you, this video makes me a little weepy because I’m just so proud and excite. Plus I’m just a big crybaby that gets weepy over everything. I’m serious when I say if there is an emotion to be had, I’m probably crying. Big old crybaby. My favorite part of this video is the clip of my first segment where I’m talking to Carson about chocolate and then I get all Oprah and sing “chocolate.” My BFF keeps saying she is going to make that her ringtone. Ridiculous
So happy birthday to the Parenting Team. I will eat cake all week in your honor.
You know, genetics are a funny thing. My mom and I look so much alike, it actually shocks people. I haven’t lived in my hometown since I was 18, but when I visit my parents, a rando stranger will walk up to me and ask “Are you Kim’s daughter?” I open my mouth and let out one of those powerful mom yells, and it’s not my own voice that comes out, it’s my mother’s! However, while I may be twinning with my sweet Mamma, where genetics failed me is that my mom is an amazing and creative bakers, I am talentless and hopeless baker. Sigh. But I so want to be a good baker and my kids love to bake, so I have some simply clever life hacks to me less disastrous when baking and make
Sometimes a recipe calls for soften butter and usually I forget to take that stick out of the fridge before I start baking, but don’t fret and try this hack. To soften butter and bring it to room temperature in just a few minutes start by placing the amount of butter you need for the recipe on a dish (if you cut it up first it will work faster). Fill a glass with super, hot water and let it sit for a minute or two. Dump the water out, quickly wipe out the remaining water and place the glass over the butter you have on the dish. In about two-three minutes, your butter is room temperature, soft and ready for baking. This method is better than sticking it in the microwave because it doesn’t melt your butter and you won’t end up with hot spots.
If you want to create intricate designs or five cookies or cupcakes faces, don’t try to use the icing in a tube. Use a plastic syringe (the kind you use to give kids medicine) filled with icing to decorate cookies and cupcakes with precision! This is perfect for drawing faces and adding details even if you don’t have a steady hand and I love doing with kids because they can decorate and not squeeze the entire tube off icing on a cookie.
Decorate your desserts like a professional by using cookie cutters or PlayDoh cutters as stencils for cakes, cupcakes, and cookies. Gently place the cookie cutter on the dessert and add sprinkles inside the cutters. This is great for numbers and shapes likes stars.
Feeling fancy? Give your cookies and cupcakes a sophisticated look by putting a piece of lace over the dessert and shaking powdered sugar on top. It leaves a beautiful design.
Slice a cake perfectly by running the knife under hot water for a few seconds, wipe the knife off, and watch and it slides right through the cake!
Save money by buying white icing and use Jell-O to color and flavor regular frosting. Yummy!
Need sprinkles? Make your own by adding a scoop of granulated sugar into a bowl and add a few drops of food coloring. Place on a baking sheet and bake for ten minutes in a 350* oven.
If your cake is crumbling while you are trying to ice it, place your cake in the freezer for twenty minutes to create a sturdy cake that won’t crumble under the pressure of adding icing.
Need Buttermilk for your recipe but don’t have any? Here’s an easy fix! Stir one cup milk with one tablespoon lemon juice or white vinegar and let it get to room temperature (around ten minutes) and there you go!
I have bags of brown sugar in my pantry and fridge and they are hard as a brick, but not anymore!
Add a slice of apple into an airtight container and in a few hours, the brown sugar will soften. Putting a wet paper towel in a bowl with the sugar in the microwave for 20-30 seconds works too. You can also store the brown sugar with a slice of white bread and it will keep the sugar soft, won’t affect the taste, and they bread won’t get moldy.
Have a recipe that calls for confectioner’s sugar but don’t have any? Put granulated sugar in a blender under it has a powdery consistency and you are ready to go!
The only rule to using these hacks, is if you bake something yummy, you HAVE to share with me, OK?
When I was a little girl and I found myself home from school because I was sick, there was nothing that made me feel better than snuggling up on the couch next to my beloved grandma and watching Regis and Kathie Lee with her. My grandmother LOVED Kathie Lee– she loved her hair, her music, her jewelry, and because Kathie Lee had a dog named Chardonnay, my grandmother needed a dog named Chardonnay. Now my grandmother’s Chardonnay was a sheppard for the devil, but that’s a whole other story.
I really cherish those precious memories with my sweet grandmother and because she adored Kathie Lee so much, I have always had a special place in my heart for Kathie Lee as well. During my other Today Show appearances, I always hoped I would run into her in the halls and I even practiced what I would say to her. But every time I was lucky enough to be on the show, I would just see Kathie Lee as she came whisking in and out of the Orange Room and basically, I was a big chicken and afraid to present her with my practiced speech. So when I got the call from a producer that wanted me to tape a segment with Kathie Lee and Hoda, I couldn’t squeal YES fast enough!
When I finally met Kathie Lee, she was just as lovely, kind, and funny as I had hoped and I just know my grandmother was smiling down (OK probably more than just smiling down) from heaven during this segment. Pretty awesome, right?
So check me out on the Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda where I’m sharing the best ways to throw an amazing slumber party! This is my favorite Today segment yet!
Maybe it’s because I went to college in the late 90s and my entire dorm room was glow-in-the-dark but I was a little too excited over all the glow-in-the-dark activities. And those walking tacos? SO YUMMY!
What’s your favorite slumber party activity?
Before kids, my husband would completely indulge my Christmas decorating extravagance. While I understand there is a fine line between festive and “someone put this lady on Honey Boo Boo,” I struggle with which side of that line I fall on each year. When we were dating, Aaron thought my need to use All. The. Decorations. was cute and charming. In those early days, he was willing to dangle from the roof to hang twinkle lights for me. He’d buy those extra yards of tinsel because I batted my eyes and said I loved it so. He’d laugh and find somewhere else to store yet another set of Christmas dishes. And that sweet man even let me put up a hot pink tree in his house. Now that, my friends, is love. When my son and daughter arrived on the scene, my obsession for all things twinkly and bright on Christmas hit an all-time high.
The tree needed to be bigger!
More lights on the house!
More presents for everyone!
More tinsel!
We need more tinsel!
But with kids comes crap. All kinds of crap. Crap in the literal sense, and crap in the way of your house slowly morphing into Toys R’ U. With this newly acquired crap, my husband’s patience began to wear thin with my love of all things Christmas and my excessive need to show holiday joy through lights, glitter, and tinsel. Ebenezer Scrooge, anyone?
Since marriage is all about compromise (sham), we have instated a new tradition, the “Christmas Bargaining.” Like all good laws, it comes out of necessity and long fought battles.
While searching online for holiday decor I may have missed last season, I read that a local tree farm had a special event where families could choose their Christmas tree from acres of Douglas and Frasier firs, and once your O’ Tannenbaum has been chosen and cut down, a team of Husky dogs will happily pull the tree to your car. Imagine the holiday cheer! Surely the dogs will be wearing wreaths of holly around their necks and bells on their little leather harnesses. Mush, doggies! Let’s get that tree on our swagger wagon. Mamma has some tinsel waiting at home for this one!
However, there was one teesey, tiny detail I left out. We (and by we I mean my husband) would need to cut down our tree. Surely he wouldn’t mind this manly act. It was all for the sake of Christmas. Think of the kids! Think of me! Think of the tinsel! Let’s get to it, chop, chop!
Driving out to the tree farm, the kids and I loudly sang a few rousing renditions of “Jingle Bells” as my always doting husband tolerated his tone deaf carolers. That’s about when his Christmas joy ran thin.
When we unloaded the kids and headed into the rows of trees, we passed a heap of hot, panting fur. It seems the unseasonably warm weather was a bit much for the Husky dogs and they needed a break. A break for the rest of the day.
Through my best adorable pout I broke the news to him, “Bummer. I’m so sad the dogs can’t pull our tree to the car. Oh, by the way, we (and by we, I mean you) have to cut down the tree, drag it several hundred yards back to our car, and attach it to our roof.”
Hilarity did not ensue, and some may say he even turned a shade that resembled the Grinch. He looked at me and grumbled “No. Just no.”
But I had two babies in Christmas sweaters, a video camera, my best Christmas face on, and I was wearing reindeer ears. I mean, who could ever say no to that sweet image?
The teenager working the cash register handed him an ax and a few yards of twine. My man was trapped and the only thing left to do was cut down a dam Christmas tree.
You know, I always imagined tree cutting as a quick process. Turns out, it’s not. It involves a lot of cursing, sap, dirty looks, and near severing of digits. During a few of his breaks from the chopping, I offered some quality time under the mistletoe to make up for his hard work. That offer may have been enticing at first, but even after we all yelled “timber,” his work was not done.
While December in Maryland tends to be quite chilly, that day felt more like spring. And this warmth was ever apparent from the sweat pouring off Aaron’s forehead and he dragged the tree past the other families. “Happy holidays!” I chirped to the other wives we passed, while my husband just mumbled some inaudible groans in solidarity to the other fellows chopping and dragging.
After our escapades in the Christmas tree farm I was banned from ever suggesting such ridiculous ideas when all I was willing to do was sit in the car and feed Goldfish crackers to the kids.
So this year I agreed to get the tree from the place that all you do is point and pay and they do the rest, and my husband agreed to a giant inflatable Santa for our front yard. Compromise
Peace has been restored in the universe and the Christmas season. Now if only I could get him to agree to an inflatable Rudolph.
Namaste, friends. Please, come into the little Zen Garden that is my home.
Why the sudden nirvana —and I don’t mean the Kurt Cobain kind? Well friends, this new enlightenment stems from my son’s nap. Actually, it’s the release of his nap that has me in perfect chi. Sounds absurd, right? I’m really thinking Oprah is just minutes from calling me to share my “A-ha!” moment on her network.
After months of fighting the inevitable, reading All The Books and following All The Rules of sleep, after years of glorious naps, I have finally let go of my son’s afternoon nap. And then “Poof,” the naps are gone. It’s as if they never existed. Life in my house is still going on without these naps. So why was I holding on for so long? I have a couple of theories.
Theory One
I am a moron who likes to drive myself insane. Apparently I enjoyed fighting with my son (for over an hour) to take a nap (that would usually last 45 minutes). Each nap turned into an epic showdown, and each time I was the big loser. I rocked that kid, sang sweet songs to him, and tickled and rubbed his precious face and chubby arms. Then after an hour of this nonsense I started to unravel. My blood boiled and that crazed, exhausted mother that hasn’t stepped out of her yoga pants in days and cannot remember the last time she showered reared her scary face and unwashed hair. Nothing says slumber like a mother on the edge screaming “GO TO SLEEP BEFORE MOMMY LOSES IT!” Oh, honey, you already lost it.
When the naps were coming to an end, if my son napped at all, it was a lame, short nap, but when it was bedtime, he was ready to Party! Party! Party! No. Just no.
I love my kids more than life itself, but dear Lord, —enough “togetherness” time.
On the days I won the nap battle, I’d start skipping (quietly, very quietly) down the hall for a few glorious moments of freedom. But as if on cue, I’d hear my daughter waking up from her nap.
Their timing would be hilarious if I wasn’t so busy dropping to the floor to weep, and I may be hearing things but one of those tiny humans may have sang “You got bags under your eyes and I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but a nap ain’t one.”
Theory Two
I held on to those naps far longer than I should have because of my inability to break our schedule. From the minute my son was born, I’ve been the queen of schedules, and that was the key to good naps—our schedule. That was the key to good night sleeping—our schedule. I followed all the rules:
1.Follow a routine
2.Keep the room dark
3.Speak only in whispers
4.Never post on Facebook that your kid is a fabulous sleeper because that angers the baby sleep gods and surely your kid will never sleep again.
Aren’t kids supposed to nap every day? May I remind you that I read All The Books and I never saw the chapter that said naps come to an end! What a cruel, cruel joke.
I was afraid of doing something wrong and messing up that sweet boy for life. If I let him stop napping too early would he always make questionable life choices? Would he end up living the streets with a sign that said,“If my mom had only made me nap, I wouldn’t be in this mess today. Strangers that would throw him change and judge me for my parenting choices. So in reality, I was making him nap to keep him from spiraling into a life of bad choices, right?
Theory Three
His daily nap was the last “baby” thing. I knew that at three and a half my boy wasn’t going to pack his bags, fall in love with some terrible girl that I hate, and move across the country, but he really isn’t a baby anymore. WAHHHHHHH!
Whatever my well intentioned but misguided reasons for holding on to the nap for too long were, I am happy to say that life got a lot better around here. I took my daughter upstairs for her nap and he headed to his room for “quiet time.” However, quiet time really didn’t last too long because he’d come downstairs to tell me that “daddy penguins take care of the eggs while the mommy penguin hunts.” Thanks, Captain Random.
So we’d do things that we couldn’t do while my hurricane daughter was awake, like play Candy Land 584 times, or color without her eating the crayons. So he and I would snuggle and play rather than me being so angry he wasn’t sleeping.
Cue the Oprah “A-ha!”
Even the nights were better because he was so exhausted, he couldn’t keep his eyes open past seven. I LOVE putting him to sleep. He’d fall asleep quickly in my arms, but I hold on to him for a few extra minutes, kiss his sweet, sweet face, and whisper in his ear “I am only this crazy because I love you and I don’t want you to end up on the streets…. or marry some awful girl.”
A few weeks ago both of my kids were sick and nighttime was really rough around here. In the light of day I had a slight resemblance to a zombie from The Walking Dead, and I mumbled something that was supposed to sound like “Will I ever get to sleep again?” but I think it sounded more like “Coffee…. Get me coffee.” But I’m a mom and it’s my job to keep it together at 2 PM or 2 AM. So when my kids are sick and no one in this house is sleeping, I do two things: Call my mom to cry a little and wait for her to give me pep talk—you can do this… you can do this!, and I pull out some life hacks to get everyone feeling better and back to bed.
Coughs and sore throats can keep your little ones up all night so grab some Jell-o, warm it up in the microwave for a few seconds, and add a tablespoon of honey. The gelatin and honey combo will calm their cough and take away throat pain and get them back to sleep. Just remember that honey should only be given to children over the age of one.
During cold season, we go though A LOT of tissues and a long night with a stuffy nose usually means a big mess. Is my dog the only one that LOVES a used tissue? Cut down on the mess and keep kids from jumping in and out of bed all night to blow their nose by taking two tissues boxes, one full and one empty, and wrap a rubber band around both boxes. When your child can grab tissue, blow their nose, and drop the tissue in the empty box. I even attach a small bottle of hand sanitizer for super messy nose blowing.
If you have a kid with tummy trouble, you are in for a long night. Take my “lasagna method” for their beds one step further and do the same for the “sick bucket.” Grab a stack of plastic shopping bags and line the bucket that has the unfortunate job of being the catch-all for sick kids. If they get sick at night, just pull out the top bag and another one is waiting for the next round. This helps keep clean up to a minimum and your little patient can get back to sleep.
For those times the “sick bucket” didn’t catch the mess, carpet cleaner meant for pet stains is great option. If you don’t have any on hand, throwing some baking soda on the mess helps to make clean up easier and vodka is a miracle worker on getting smells of carpets and furniture. If you choose to use that vodka for something else, I won’t judge… just invite me over.
We’re already suffering from Mommy-Brain (am I right?) Here’s two things that help: Grab a marker and create a small chart on the side of medicine bottles for doses and the number of days kids need to take the medicine. Also if you’re handing out doses of medicine and need to keep track of the times and doses late at night and during the day, use a dry erase marker on the bathroom mirror to remind you who got what medicine.
Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate is a Mom’s mantra when you have a sick kid. But getting to the store late at night for those electrolyte drinks isn’t always possible. You can easily make your own:
Mix together
You can always add a few splashes of juice for flavor and I’ve found that warming the water first helps dissolve the salt and sugar.
To prevent spills in bed, turn any cup into a spill proof sippie by adding press and seal wrap to the lid and sticking a straw in the cup or putting a crazy straw upside down in a cup with a lid.
Painful headaches are absolutely miserable and always worse at night. Comfort your child, soothe their headache, and get them back to sleep by massaging their head and neck with coconut oil and a few drops of peppermint oil. Just be sure to keep it away from their eyes.
A nasty cold and stuffy nose doesn’t have to keep everyone up all night, with a super easy recipe and 20 minutes you can create vapor rub cubes for the shower that will have everyone breathing easy and sleeping in no time.
Here’s how you make them:
When you’re ready to use the vapor rub cubes, put one near the drain and turn on the steamy shower. Older kids can stand under the water (you can put the cube in a dish if you’re nervous about a slippery tub floor) and for younger kids, just snuggle with them next to the shower and let them breath in the steam and vapor smell.
Just like the terrible twos, this too shall pass and soon everyone will be healthy and sleeping again. Until then, there’s always Starbucks. Lots of Starbucks.