Amanda Mushro — Page 18

The Today Show and my 50 Shades of Excitement

February 11, 2015 by amushro

I always thought my first appearance on the Today Show would be about parenting and some of the ridiculous essays I write about my epic parenting fails, but the way I landed myself on the Today Show is actually pretty perfect for this lady!

When you’re an English teacher people often assume that you spend your free time reading the classics and analyzing great pieces of literature. I mean, my brother is an ER doctor and no one assumes for a good time he breaks his own arm then sets it in a cast. So when you catch a glimpse of what’s on my Kindle, don’t be surprised that you won’t find any Dickens or a single Shakespeare play. What you will find is the same trilogy that millions of ladies have been downloading, trading, discussing, whispering, shouting, and patiently waiting for the move version, 50 Shades of Grey.

I assumed I’d be catching Mr. Grey in all his glory on the big screen with a few of my gal pals, but a producer from The Today Show called and because I sent them a silly caption from one of the movie stills, they asked if I would fly to NYC for their special screening and ask the stars of the film a few questions. I tried to act really cool on the phone (take deep breaths) but I’m sure my inner “SQUEEEEEEEEEE!” was showing!

“Oh sure, that sounds fun. I could do that.” SQUEEEEEE!!!!

Here is how I got ready for my trip:

1. Call up your best gal pal and scream into the phone “I’m going to be on the Today Show! Get a babysitter because we are flying to NYC to see 50 Shades of Grey!” Wait for her confusion then her screams of joy.

2. Get your mom to watch your kids. Assure her the NEXT time you are on the Today Show you will take her.

3.Shop for something fabulous to wear and shop fast.

4. Get your nails and hair did.

5. Be prepared to feel like a celebrity for two days. Understand reality will come crashing down, but not yet!

Obviously having a car pick us up at the airport totally did NOT go to my head–whatever, it was pretty rad—

I’d like to thank my kids for getting up insanely early every morning. Because of them, I was actually able to get myself up, ready and down to the car that would take us to the event at 5:30 in the morning. Since I was a guest of the Today Show, we walked right in, but hundreds and hundreds of ladies were waiting outside in the frigid 10 degree weather to get inside. Insane!

On the “grey carpet” were lines and lines of fellas handing out yummy drinks. If THIS is the kind of stuff that happens at red carpet events, count me in, friends.

It’s always key to take your super fabulous friend who adores NYC just as much as you do and appreciates and practices going a little bananas for celebrities much like myself. I heart her. Funny thing about the audience, they were all women. The only men were the ones working for the Today Show.

The day before I planned everything I would say to the author E.L. James. Then I met her and said something stupid like “I’m so excited!” Good one, Amanda. Definitely one she will remember.

Then there were ear-piercing screams from the back of the theater. No need to panic.Mr. Grey just entered the building. After the first set of interviews with the stars of the film and the writer, the movie started (again so awkward to watch this movie at 7:30 in the morning) and we all settled in for the movie we’ve been anticipating!

Check out my vlog where I’m giving my honest review of the film!

After the movie wrapped up, all of the cameras and lights were back on and it was my turn to be on camera and ask the stars a few questions!

Knowing my entire family was at home with the DVR set, I made sure I didn’t have lipstick on my teeth, walked up next to Carson Daily and…. they ran out of time.

So I didn’t get to ask my question, but I did get on camera much to the happiness of my mother who will tell everyone this story for the rest of her life.

Natalie Morales was so sweet and apologized for running out of time for our segment, grabbed my hand, and said “let’s get some pictures with Jamie and Dakota.” And that, friends, is how Natalie because my favorite person forever.

Not only is he gorgeous, ladies. @jamiedornan smells really good too #FiftyShadesFirst @todayshow

A video posted by QuestionableChoicesInParenting (@questionablecip) on Feb 6, 2015 at 4:45pm PST

The entire time I was in New York I kept saying “This is so absurd. All of it. It’s so absurd.” Fantastic and absurd but totally amazing. See, your English teachers were right, reading DOES open all kinds of doors.

Helping Duchess Kate Survive Two Under Two

January 22, 2015 by amushro

On a rare occasion I was grocery shopping sans kids, I opted for the longest line while checking out so I could spend a few minutes catching up on all the celebrity gossip in the rag magazines. Don’t you dare judge me. It’s my guilty pleasure.

Through the dozens of celebrity divorce rumors and Kardashian family splashed pages was an article that literally made me laugh out loud :“How will Duchess Kate handle two under two?”

While I absolutely adore Duchess Kate and her little royal family, surviving the trials and tribulations of two under two is really no skin off her back and probably won’t even ruffle that perfectly coifed mane.

For the rest of us common folk, a palace full of nannies, chefs, maids, and assistants will not be at our beck and call during this daunting time. But just for giggles, let’s pretend the Duchess is one of our gal pals and share what really happens when you have two kids in two years, shall we?

Tears- lots of them. Some from your newborn and some from your toddler, but a whole lot will be from you. With a mixture of pregnancy hormones, exhaustion, and a dash of the terrible twos, it can be a real shit storm.
Just like Elsa, you need to Let it Go because, honey, there is no perfect mom and there will be chaos for quite some time. Laugh at it and be like the rest of us and start a Mommy Blog.
He or she that cries the loudest will get Mommy first. It’s very Darwin but then again, we are in survival mode.
Expect a HUGE decline in personal hygiene. Embrace it. After a particularly long spell of not showering I thought “Why the hell would I go DAYS without showering with just ONE kid?” Flip side, our water bill went down significantly.
Exhaustion is inevitable. A newborn that is up most of the night and a toddler ready to play at 7 AM on constant repeat. Coffee and Diet Coke during the day, wine at night—the Mom’s holy trinity.
Get yourself some help! I was that mother that would never think of leaving her first born with a babysitter, but three months into two under two, and I basically tackled a babysitter on the playground and dragged her back to my house to watch my kids just so I could shower or maybe visit heaven alone Target alone
Did you get both kids dressed, fed, out the door and to a doctor’s appointment all before 11 AM? Well then, high five yourself, Mamma! Even if it took three hours and six outfit changes, you celebrate these wins no matter how small!

But don’t be too scared because now that I’m on the other side of those early years, I sort of feel like Gloria Estefan singing “Coming out of the dark…. I can finally see the light and it’s shining on me…

At 3 and 5, my kids are getting, dare I say, a little easier. Both kids are very independent and I don’t feel like I’m doing 100% for them day in and day out. Plus I feel like an expert in some aspects of parenting because once I wrap up one phase with the first kid, it’s quickly time for the other to start into that phase.

But more importantly, they really, really love each other. I love listening to their sweet conversations of nonsense and watching them snuggle on the couch while they watch Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs for the 400^th time. When my son is at school, my girl misses her big bro, and when they are reunited, they hug like it’s been ages since they were together.

So even though those early days were touch and go for me, I’m glad my kids are so close in age. Would I do it all again? ………………………………………Oh, sorry I think I just blacked out for a second reliving those first few years. No, no, absolutely not.

Are you ready to Listen to Your Mother?

January 9, 2015 by amushro

If you’ve been hanging around here for a while, you probably know that I am madly in love with a little show called Listen to Your Mother. During the 2014 season, I was thrilled to be a part of the Washington DC cast and share my story “Emergency Mom” with the world. Did you miss it? Oh wait, here it is again:

After being a part of Listen to Your Mother, I knew that such a powerful and meaningful show needed to be brought to my hometown of Pittsburgh. Even though I haven’t lived there in over ten years, I still identify Pittsburgh as my home and love and adore everything that fabulous city has to offer.

When my blogging buddies Jennifer, Stephanie and I got the word we were going to bring Listen to Your Mother to the ‘Burgh we all did a ridiculous happy dance, cried a little, and then rolled up our sleeves because we were ready to work!

So where does this journey start? First up, auditions!

We are opening up spots for auditions, and if you live in the Pittsburgh or surrounding areas (WV,MD, OH), we want YOU to tell your story!

Listen to Your Mother is searching for men and women to share their stories about motherhood. You don’t have to be a mother, just have a story about motherhood. Even if you aren’t a professional writer or have any stage experience, don’t worry! Most cast members are in the same boat. Pieces are around 5 minutes long and read, not memorized. So don’t worry! It’s nothing like the stressful days of high school giving presentations in front of the class.

We are looking for stories that make us laugh and cry. We want stories of the good, the bad, the really bad, and the magical parts of motherhood. We want to hear about your mother, why you became a mother, why you never want to be a mother, who is the mother figure in your life. We want to hear it all so that we can give a broad perspective of motherhood that can be woven into one phenomenon show. We want your stories and we want to give you a microphone.

Click here is all the info you need for auditions in Pittsburgh!

Not near Pittsburgh? No worries, check here to see if there is a show near you! Each city has a different audition process and time frame so check the site to get all the details.

Even if being a part of the cast doesn’t sound like something you would want to do, can you do me a huge favor? Share this with someone you think would be interested in Listen to Your Mother! With shows in 39 cities, you are bound to introduce this life changing show to someone new! Then find a show near you and grab all your girlfriends and go see the show! Believe me, you won’t be sorry!

How to Take the Perfect Family Picture in Your Christmas Pajamas

December 8, 2014 by amushro

The holidays are stressful enough, friends. Taking a beautiful picture of your happy family decked out in festive gear should not turn you into the Grinch! Since it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, I’m partnering with my friends at Joe Boxer to create the most perfect family picture for our Christmas cards. No stuffy backgrounds or uncomfortable dress clothes for this bunch, we’re rocking around the Christmas tree in Joe Boxer pajamas from Kmart for our card and since we are experts at getting the perfect shot, I’m going to share my tips with you!

One of the reasons that our Christmas cards always look so great is because I never have trouble taking pictures of my kids because they just LOVE the camera! Plus they look pretty cute and comfy in their new Joe Boxer pajamas. Hey, kids, look at mommy and say “Rudolph!”

I find that when setting up shots for your holiday card, it’s really best to just catch everyone in their most natural state.

Even if things get a little hairy, relax! Enjoy the season and making memories with your family!

When taking your family pictures, think about the setting! Since everyone from Mom, Dad, and kids are warm in their whimsical Joe Boxer pajamas, why not cozy up next to a roaring fire?

Now that you’ve had a blast taking pictures, you’re almost done! But be sure to get one last shot! Everyone snuggle up real close and finish off this successful photo session with a round robin version of Silent Night. Just give Mommy a minute to warm up her voice.

Needs some more inspiration for you holiday cards? How about the hilarious Joe Boxer commercials? When I saw these for the first time I actually snorted (sexy, right?). The sweet moves from the Mammas-to-be in Santa Baby are almost as impressive as the fellas moves in Jingle Bellies. Which one is your favorite?

So there you go, with a little help from Joe Boxer pajamas from Kmart and yours truly, you too can have the perfect family picture in your Christmas pajamas. You may show your gratitude to me in Christmas cookies, after all, my new pajamas have a nice stretchy elastic waist.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Joe Boxer available at Kmart.

Blunt Moms is Sharing My Terrible Twos Woes

December 5, 2014 by amushro

Now I am fully aware that this face is adorable. Like so adorable it’s a wonder I can control myself to not eat those adorable cheeks. The struggle is real, people.

But even though we are approaching the three and a half mark, the memories of the “terrible twos” STILL haunts me. *shivers in fear* Even though her tantrums have somewhat subsided, she makes sure her opinions are heard with So. Much. Sass. Seriously, I have no idea what the teenage years have in store for us, but it ain’t good, I tell you that.

I really love the ladies over at Blunt Moms and I am thrilled that they ran my “Terrible Twos Aren’t So Bad and Other Lies I Tell Myself” post. So if you are a terrible twos survivor or you are knee deep in tantrums, head over and give it a read and share your expedience! We can all get through these tantrums together!

Old Dog New Tricks: Purina ONE 28 Day Challenge

November 23, 2014 by amushro

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.

#OneSmartDifference#CollectiveBias

Long before our kids burst onto the scene,there was another lady that ruled the roost. Nine years ago, my husband and I walked up and down the aisles of the local animal shelter searching for the perfect dog. Not too big, not too small, and preferably one that wouldn’t eat my shoes. When we reached the very last kennel, there she was. A quiet puppy with big, bright eyes. I just knew this dog was the one, and that she would never eat my shoes. I got the whole she was our dog part right , but not so much with shoes will be safe around this pup. Chewed up sneakers and high heels aside, we are completely in love with our dog Suggie. Even though she isn’t a puppy anymore, our gal still has a lot of pep in her step, but our vet told us that because she is a ~~senior citizen~~ mature dog, she needs food that is created especially for dogs her age. So we decided to try Purina ONE Smartblend: Vibrant Maturity 7+ Senior Formula and the 28 Day Challenge. I was really happy to see all of the good stuff in Purina ONE Smartblend like real poultry, meat, or fish as the #1 ingredient, omega 6 for healthy skin, and Glucosamine that helps support healthy joints. I was even happier to see that I could get the food deliverd to my door thanks to Amazon Prime.

Because taking two small children to the grocery store or a huge animal supply store and carrying out a giant bag of dog food is so much fun (read: no, not fun at all), my good friend Amazon Prime is the way to go. Seriously I use Amazon Prime for everything from chapstick to dog food. Seriously, it’s a lifesaver. Always man’s best friend, Suggie was even willing to help me check out Purina ONE Smartblend: Vibrant Maturity 7+ Senior Formula on Amazon.

Just like magic, Amazon Prime ensured that in just two days, a box was delivered to our door and Suggie was thrilled that something was finally for her! Of course, she needs to inspect all packages before they can enter our home. She takes her guard dog duties very seriously.

So, are you going to help me get this bag out? You know, the whole opposable thumb, thing.

Oh wait, that’s not for you,pooch, that’s for the kids. Just kidding! It’s totally for you. Awww, Suggie, you always fall for that one!

Because Suggie likes to be informed on what she eats, she wanted to know what is the Purina ONE 28 day Challenge? Well, Purina ONE is asking dog lovers all over the country to switch to Purina ONE dry dog food, and take the 28 Day Challenge. They believe people will see:

Day 1+: Taste: When your dog loves the taste of his food, it can make all the difference
Day 7+: Energy: An optimal blend of ingredients provides the energy your dog needs
Day 14+: Digestibility: Highly digestible food helps more nutrients go to work inside your dog
Day 21+: Skin & Coat: Balanced nutrition supports a beautiful coat and healthy skin
Day 21+: Bright Eyes: Your dog’s eyes are a window to his health
Day 28+: Dental Healthy: Great nutrition and crunchy kibble support strong teeth and healthy gums

We are a couple of days into the challenge and Suggie is really loving the taste of her new food. We’re excited to see the potential benefits from the 28 Day Challenge and I’m hoping that the fabulous boots I just bought will be safe from her. Now that is the real challenge!

Goodbye Fast Lane–I’m on Huff Post Parents!

November 17, 2014 by amushro

My to-do list has about 357 things for me to accomplish today. The only way I am going to get it all done is if I move at warp speed and drink three more cups of coffee. The problem is, I already know I will be slowed down by my boy.

I usually call him my Poky Little Puppy because even though I struggle every day to not eat his cute face, that man moves at a snail’s pace—-ridicilous. I wrote about me being a fast moving mamma and my boy taking his sweet time and it’s on Huff Post Parents today– I know, fancy right? Click here and be magically transported over to read How my Little Boy Has Slowed Me Down

How to Make Sure Your Husband has a Terrible Birthday

November 10, 2014 by amushro

What does a toenail, a car battery, and an expensive vet bill all have in common? Well, friends, that’s exactly what my husband got for the celebration of his birth this year.

Before we had kids, birthdays were a really big deal for the two of us. Now our birthdays are celebrated in between hockey and dance classes with a crappy cake from the grocery store. But this year would be different, I was going to plan a fabulous birthday dinner for my husband (read: get a babysitter and make reservations). But we know what happens to our best laid plans…

Five minutes before our babysitter was set to show up for my husband’s big birthday date night, I giggled that I was signing his birthday card with a broken crayon and was really feeling guilty that I couldn’t come up with a good gift for him. Eh, at least I had reservations to a fancy new restaurant and would make out with him after dinner. That would totally make up for my crayon scribbled card and lack of an inventive gift, right?

Just as I put the last xo on his card, I heard the running footsteps and the panicked cries of my son, “Mommy, come quick. Suggie is hurt!”

Racing downstairs, I ran every scenario over in my head. Maybe our old dog got into a fight with that creep poodle across the street, or maybe that Yorkie from three houses down finally got revenge for all the time Suggie pees in his yard. When I hit the bottom steps I found what can only be described as a horror movie: blood up and down the staircase. It could’ve been a scene from The Walking Dead (minus the zombies and Daryl)

Her toenails had gotten too long and when she was running up the stairs, one got caught in the carpet and………. *shivers*

You would think after having two kids and several undesirable situations with bodily fluids I could handle this from my dog, but then you would be totally wrong because I was feeling woozy and was going down for the count. My husband had an injured dog in his arms, was blocking kids from the bloody mess with his body, and used his foot to prop me up from sliding down the stairs. And they say men don’t multi-task.

Aaron carried a towel wrapped Suggie out to his car and I ran after them clutching tissues and credit cards knowing both would be put to good use at the after hours emergency vet. But I stalled when I opened the door to Aaron’s car.

There wasn’t a single goldfish cracker anywhere. How could anything we own not contain at least one goldfish cracker? At this point, I just assumed the kids shed the fish like skin.

“Babe!” Aaron barked from the back, “Let’s go!”

When I turned the key, the car sputtered and faltered.

I tried again. Sputter, sputter, sputter, silence.

The battery is dead. The battery in the freaking car is dead. Of course it is.

New plan: get into my car, spend a small fortune at the emergency vet, call AAA, spend another small fortune, drink LOTS of wine when we return home.

We handed over a sad injured dog and the emergency vet returned our gal to us looking like this:

I’ve heard that after a while dogs and their owners start to look alike. Here is Suggie all hopped up on pain meds. Oddly enough, this is exactly what I look like after drinking a bottle of wine!

While waiting for the AAA guy to install a new battery in the middle of the night, I helped myself to the wine I planned on sharing with Aaron. Because nothing says “I love you, birthday boy!” like your wife lulled to sleep on the couch after inhaling a half a bottle of pino grigo.

So this birthday celebration was an epic fail, but Suggie is on the mend, I’ve promised Aaron a do-over birthday, and to think, I was worried I wouldn’t have a gift for him. However, there are no returns on the black toe nail and car battery.

Because Other Couples Arguing is Awkward and Hilarious, Right?

November 3, 2014 by amushro

When I was pregnant with my son, my husband had one job. ONE JOB. OK, maybe two: do his part to make the baby and get me to the hospital in a speedy but safe way when I was in labor. My darling little boy is evidence that my husband got his first job done. He probably even deserves a gold star for that job. But the story behind his failure at job number two is beyond absurd and is featured in the hilarious new book Clash of the Couples, which is out today!

My story, Fetus, Take the Wheel, is just one of the essays you will find in this anthology, and I am thrilled to be included in a book with so many fantastic writers. I’ve been giggling through each story and love seeing inside some of the ridiculous and hilarious fights other couples find themselves in.

The book has been endorsed by a number of humor and publishing heavyweights, including Josh Blue, comedian and winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, and Abby Heugel, popular humorist and blogger at Abby Has Issues. Here’s what they had to say:

“If you’re looking for a fun read, check out Clash of the Couples. I could relate to the couples in this honest and hilarious collection of modern relationship tales. Clash of the Couples bursts with the real stuff that couples fight about and will make you laugh while shaking your head at the ridiculousness of it!” said Blue.

Heugel shares his sentiments. “Married, single, destined for spinsterhood—it doesn’t matter what angle you come at this book from, you will find something that you can relate to. And you will laugh, because even if you can’t relate to that particular situation, you’ll just be glad that it happened to somebody else.”

You should totally buy this book. Hey, why don’t you buy one for yourself and buy one for your friend who is getting married? Wait, I’ve got it, buy one for everyone on your holiday shopping list! Look at how helpful I am!

Hey, How About A Giveaway?

* I’m going to give a copy to two lucky winners! To win all you have to do is tell me about the most ridiculous fight you’ve ever had with your spouse. Keep it short and sweet! And don’t worry, I will totally take your side. I’llpick a winner on November 12! Good luck!*