Questionable Choices in Parenting

Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

Old Dog New Treats

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This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.
#NudgeThemBack #CollectiveBias

Old Dog New Treats

I know it’s really early, Suggie, but you really need to come downstairs and see what I have for you. I get it, you need your rest and that bed sure is comfy. But because you’re my favorite pooch, you tolerate the kids interrupting your naps, you only growl at the neighbor’s cat 90% of the time, and you are ALWAYS excited to see me (even if I just stepped outside to get the mail), I wanted to get you a really special treat. So how about it? You up for a treat, old girl?

Sleepy

You know, Suggie, they say “you are what you eat,” and if that’s true you must be Rapunzel since you ate your sister’s Rapunzel doll yesterday.

Kidding

I’m kidding! I’m kidding! You are so much more than the millions of toys you eat each year, and that, my four-legged-love, is why I only give you the best and yummiest treats. Did you know Nudges® Dog Treats are made right here in America, have real meat as the first ingredient, and has no artificial flavors? See, they even look and smell like a real piece of meat. You want to try one?

Nudges

What do you think? Nudges® Wholesome Dog Treats are pretty tasty, right? They even come in a bunch of different flavors. Which do you like best: The Grillers steak or chicken or the Sizzlers chicken bacon or beef and cheese? Steak!

OK, steak it is! You don’t have to yell! I found all of  Nudges® Grillers and  Sizzlers at Walmart in the Pet Care aisle, and since you’re such a good girl, I even grabbed you a big bag of Nudges® Jerky Cuts Value Size.

Pet Care Aisle

Old dog, new treats is a great way to start our day. Now let’s get outside and show those neighborhood puppies how fast this old dog can really run. OK, one more Nudges® Grillers before we go.

Nudge them back

Suggie wants you to check out all the flavors at nudgesdogtreats.com and let me know which one you think your dog would love the most!

The Today Show’s Parenting Team and my Life Hacks!

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*Hangs head in shame* Friends, I committed the cardinal sin of parenting: I bragged on social media about my “super healthy kids” and BOOM every freaking cold, cough, flu, and virus within 20 miles hit our house for MONTHS. Ugh, waiting for the health department to drop a bubble on this house any minute. Silver lining, the Today Show Show (yes the Today Show!!!) is featuring my Life Hacks for Keeping Your Sanity When Your Kids Are Sick! So please do me a solid and hop on over to read it and click the vote button. I promise I won’t cough on you! Click Right Here to read and vote! 

TODAY.com Parenting Team Contributorlife hacks

TODAY.com Parenting Team TODAY Fave

It’s Here! I STILL Just Want To Pee Alone!

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My blog’s tag line “Laughing at life as a parent so they don’t commit me” isn’t just something funny that fits nicely on my blog. No, friends, it the TRUTH!  And really, we all need to laugh a whole lot more, amirite? So let me help you with that because I’m thrilled to tell you that the hilarious book I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is available now and I’m in it!! My essay is all about kids in public bathrooms, poop particles, and Dr. Oz. It’s getting real, friends.

So it’s time to ignore your kids, tell your husband to fend for himself, get your copy, and get your laugh on! Remember when I told you about the 40 amazing writers that are featured in this book? What are you waiting for? Go! Read! Laugh! Leave a review on Amazon! See how I snuck that in there?

AmandaMemeGet your copy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, ans iTunes or you can get the book from me! Just send me an email to [email protected]

Also I’m having a book signing April 10 at the Simply Sweet Shoppe in  Uniontown, PA and I’ll be speaking at the Uniontown Baby & Beyond Expo on May 17. If you are in the area, please come see me! I will probably hug you. Hope you’re cool with hugs.

New Here? Come for a tour!

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Well hey there, friend! Are you new around here? Did you wander on over after seeing my TLCme Life Hacks webseries or catch one of my TV appearances?  Great, I like you already! We love new people over here at Questionable Choices in Parenting. Let me give you a quick tour.

I’m Amanda: Candy Land loser, yoga pants enthusiast, a mom of three, Life Hacks Expert, a Lifestyle/Mom/Family writer and personality. You’ll find a lot of my life hacks and parenting tips posts here or over at my other site AmandaMushro.com. You can see some of my TV appearances here!

Something important to note: I’m all about fun. Even if that means turning myself into a turkey for morning TV!

turkey-hat

So stop and stay awhile! Check out my TLC webseries or check the  Can You Hack Motherhood tab for my very best life hacks. If you want to giggle, click on the Laughs tab and check out some of my funniest posts. If you want something a little more heart warming, check out the Family tab.

If you like what you see, subscribe to my blog (just add your email address over there on the left), or find me on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, or Instagram

 

Yes, I’m the Mom Crying at Kindergarten Orientation

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I already know that I wear my heart on my sleeve; I just wasn’t aware that I also wear every single emotion on my face too.

“How are you doing?” seems like a simple pleasantry between two people. But this was a loaded “How are you doing?” and not in the Joey from Friends “How you doin’?” kinda way, but in a “Are you OK?”

In the fall, my boy will be headed off to kindergarten and today I’m at kindergarten orientation registering him as a new student. I thought I had my emotions in check, but I caught the eye of the principal mere moments of entering the school.

Kindergarten orientation

 

“How are you doing?” she cautiously asked.

“Me? I’m……..”

I consider giving the polite answer of “I’m fine, wonderful, excited, thrilled!” but in that moment, when she and I are eye to eye, I know she’s on to me.

“I’m…” I continue, “I’m going to try to keep it together today.”

“But they haven’t even gotten to school yet! You’ll be fine.”

In my attempts to hold back a sob, I answered with a too forced “Sure.”

So what was it that gave me away, Mrs. Principal?

Was it my eyes? Did they defy me with the telltale signs that I was crying in the shower this morning?

Could you sense that I had been punched in the stomach when I pulled up to your lovely little school?

Could you see on my face that even though I’m standing in a school that parents and students love, that is surrounded by a neighborhood that people flock to simply to attend your school, a school that has artwork and student achievements wallpapering the walls, that I’m searching hard to find something I don’t like.

Could you sense the dull pain in my chest? The pain from realizing that in a few short months I will be putting my heart on a big, yellow bus and I’ll wave and wave until I can’t see him and just like that, he’s off to school.

Let me assure you, Mrs. Principal that my boy, he will be fine. He will walk the halls of your big school and he will show everyone how smart, kind, funny and sweet he is. He’s so sweet he’ll rot your teeth and he’s so funny, he’ll make every teacher laugh. He’ll make friends and he’ll be JUST FINE, more than fine. So really all of this, this face I must be carrying today, it’s really about me.

It’s about me all excited and wistful and scared all in one at kindergarten orientation. It’s me chiding myself for being so emotional and knowing my Mom friends will have a field day with me when I recount this ridiculous interaction between you and me.

But I just can’t help it and apparently, can’t hide it either. So I will watch your presentation, be befuddled by the carpool, nod quietly when you show us the playground, and try my best to not make an audible sounds of distaste when I see the “kindergarten hall”

Because, after all, Mrs. Principal, in a few months you and I will see each other in the hallways for parties and PTA meetings, and I can assure you I won’t be crying then. And maybe in a few years, when I make this kindergarten orientation trip for my daughter, I won’t be crying. Probably, I will probably be crying.

So you and I might be right back here, and you can assure me it will all be OK and I’ll believe you.

Our New Favorite Early Reading Apps for Android

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While this is a sponsored post, all opinions are 100% my own #MoreVA #VZWBuzz

early reader

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I have NO idea how parents entertained their kids before the creation of smartphones. I’m not just talking about mindless games that do nothing for their little brains, but the educational apps that keep their attention, keep them learning, and keep them happy. Both of my kids are very tactile learners, so interactive apps really appeal to them. Since my son is headed off to kindergarten (sob!) in the fall, we’ve moved past basic letter and sound recognition games and now we are on to early reading games. Here are some of our favorite early reader games that the kids have been playing on my Android Turbo!

 

endless reader

Endless Reader– Around here, Endless Alphabet is a favorite app, so we were excited to move onto Endless Reader. In this app, kids are introduced to “sight words.” These are the most commonly found words in early reading, and learning these words are key to reading success. In this app, the words are shown in context and the kids have a blast with all of the silly sounds as they see the words, hear the words, and manipulate the words in puzzles.

 

 

kids learn to read

Kids Learn to Read– I really like apps that have a variety of games within the app so my kids are challenged, not easily bored, and willing to come back to the app again and again. Kids Learn to Read does all of this with letter sounds, making their own words, and matching games. Tommy Turtle is the star of this fun app that focuses on hearing and seeing how letter sounds blend together to make early reading words.

 

 

 

Super Why

Super Why Phonics Fair- Based on the hit PBS show Super Why, kids go on a adventure with the Super Why gang as they focus on phonics through interactive games. My kids really love the stickers they earn during each level and I love that the advanced levels for more challenging games.

 

 

 

istory

I Story Books–  There is nothing I love more than snuggling up next to my kids and reading books. With I Story Books you can read to your child  or they can listen to a narrator read a number of fairy tales and classic stories  full of colorful illustrations. There are different versions of this app so you can find the types of books that appeal to your kids the most. New books are added every two weeks, and both of my kids are really loving the classics and the science themed books.

 

 

site words

Sight Words Kindergarten– This app is great for early readers and readers struggling to learn and recall sight words. Through six interactive games, kids are shown small groupings of words so through repetition and memory. As they start mastering the words, the word groupings get larger to become more challenging.

 

 

Playing games on your smart phone and tablet isn’t just for kids! Join @theonlinemom @RobynsWorld @geekbabe and @thetechdad on Friday, March 13 at 12 noon PT (3 pm ET) as we chat about Smartphone and Tablet Games!

#VZWBuzz

When: Friday, March 13, 2015
3:00-4:00 pm ET
12:00-1:00 pm PT

‘Smartphone and Tablet Games’

Join @theonlinemom @RobynsWorld @geekbabe and @thetechdad on Friday, March 13 at 12 noon PT (3 pm ET) as we chat about 

Smartphone and Tablet Games!

RSVP and attend the party for a chance to win a MOGA Pro Power Controller or a Droid Turbo smartphone!

Join @TheOnlineMom on the Video Recap right after the chat for another chance to win a prize!

To RSVP:

  1. Email [email protected](subject line: VZWBuzz) and include your Twitter ID.
  2. Spread the word and RT this link on your Twitter feed: http://ow.ly/ImCn5   
  3. Join us on TweetDeck or HootSuite (#VZWBuzz) on Friday, March 13 between 3 – 4 pm ET
  4. Tell your Twitter followers!

PRIZE WINNERS will be announced during the Party!

A  NOTE to my  nTelos Readers: 

If you are using  nTelos as your wireless provider, Verizon has a special offer going on right now just for you!  Switch to Verizon Wireless and get a $150.00 credit plus free activation per smartphone when you bring your number to Verizon.  How awesome is that? We have been Verizon Customers for years, and compared to other companies, Verizon is faster and more reliable. Always! Check out  this Verizon Wireless Deal today.

I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone. How About You?

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The other day I tried a really novel idea–I LOCKED the bathroom door. Crazy, I know, but we have these locks on the doors and apparently they do stuff like keep kids, dogs, and husbands out of the bathroom while it’s otherwise occupied. Fascinating!

It was about 30 seconds after lock implementation that I realized why those locks aren’t used by mothers very often. It might have been the banging on the door. Or the cries of “Mommy, something is wrong with this door. I can’t get it.”  Or the sudden crash that came from the toy room that sent me running with yoga pants around my ankles.

While I may never pee alone again, I seem to be in good company, and I’m beyond thrilled to revel the cover of the new book that I’m going to be in I Still Just Want to Pee Alone. It’s available March 27, 2015!

ISJWTPA Cover (1)

This book is a sequel to the wildly successful book created by the  hilarious Jen Mann of People I Want to Punch in the Throat. You’ll find essays about motherhood being the toughest and most absurd  and hilarious job, and we can all relate to our deep desire to just PEE ALONE! If you were a fan of the first one, you are going to LOVE this book. Here’s the line up of fantastic writers in I Still Just Want to Pee Alone:

Bethany Kriger Thies of Bad Parenting Moments

Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start By Saying

Alyson Herzig of The Shitastrophy

JD Bailey of Honest Mom

Kathryn Leehane of Foxy Wine Pocket

Suzanne Fleet of Toulouse and Tonic

Nicole Leigh Shaw of Nicole Leigh Shaw, Tyop Aretist

Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year

Rebecca Gallagher of Frugalista Blog

Rita Templeton of Fighting off Frumpy

Darcy Perdu of So Then Stories

Christine Burke of Keeper of The Fruit Loops

Amy Flory of Funny Is Family

Robyn Welling of Hollow Tree Ventures

Sarah del Rio of est. 1975

Amanda Mushro of Questionable Choices in Parenting

Jennifer Hicks of Real Life Parenting

Courtney Fitzgerald of Our Small Moments

Lola Lolita of Sammiches and Psych Meds

Victoria Fedden of Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds

Keesha Beckford of Mom’s New Stage

Stacia Ellermeier of Dried-on Milk

Ashley Allen of Big Top Family

Meredith Bland of Pile of Babies

Harmony Hobbs of Modern Mommy Madness

Janel Mills of 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of

Kim Forde of The Fordeville Diaries

Stacey Gill of One Funny Motha

Beth Caldwell of The Cult of Perfect Motherhood

Sarah Cottrell of Housewife Plus

Michelle Back of Mommy Back Talk

Tracy Sano of Tracy on the Rocks

Linda Roy of elleroy was here

Michelle Poston Combs of Rubber Shoes In Hell

Susan Lee Maccarelli of Pecked To Death By Chickens

Vicki Lesage of Life, Love, and Sarcasm in Paris

Kris Amels of Why, Mommy?

Mackenzie Cheeseman of Is there cheese in it?

Tracy DeBlois of Orange & Silver

 

So on March 27, get the book, use those fancy locks, tell everyone you have “business” to attend to, and get ready to laugh out loud with everyone reading this book!

Moving Up A Box

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I really love every part of my birthday. I love cake. I love being the center of attention for an entire day. I love using my birthday as an excuse to get out of things:

“Sorry, I can’t do laundry. It’s my birthday”

“Sorry, I can’t cook today. It’s my birthday.”

“Sorry, I can only eat cake All. Day. Long. It’s my birthday”

While I’ve never been one to get hung up on age, this particular birthday has given me reason to take pause and all because of a little box.

Moving up a box

The other day I was filling out an application for something– I cannot remember what the application was for because momnesia, it’s real and it’s wicked– and when I went to “check the box for your age,” I paused because I realized, I was moving up a box! Normally I fall into 30-34 or the 27-34 box, but now I’m moving on up to the 35-40 box. Yikes! How did that happen?Really, at what point did my box officially become “mid-thirties” and closer to 40 than 25? 35, huh?

Really, I usually have no hangups about getting older, mainly because I’m too busy, frazzled, and exhausted to really contemplate age, but I was definitely taken aback. And to be honest, I don’t really know why.

So instead of feeling down in the dumps and being an emotional eater all day today, I’m going to think of all the awesome shit people did when they were 35. Like this:

  • Julia Child started cooking at age 35
  • Evelyn Ashford won her final Olympic gold medal at age 35
  • Frederic William Herschel, an English astronomer, invented contact lens.
  • Mozart stopped composing because he died (Wait, that’s a horrible example!)

Maybe all of these accomplishments will inspire me to simply eat all the cake out of joy and anticipation of what this year of life has in store for me– I already have a few fabulous things brewing personally and professionally, and did I mention I’m eating cake all day?

So this new box, it ain’t no thing because much like a fine wine, I get better with age. Which is ridiculous because I only drink cheap wine, but I digress.

So 35, let’s do this!

The Today Show and my 50 Shades of Excitement

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Fifty Shades of ExcitementI always thought my first appearance on the Today Show would be about parenting and some of the ridiculous essays I write about my epic parenting fails, but the way I landed myself on the Today Show is actually pretty perfect for this lady!

When you’re an English teacher people often assume that you spend your free time reading the classics and analyzing great pieces of literature. I mean, my brother is an ER doctor and no one assumes for a good time he breaks his own arm then sets it in a cast. So when you catch a glimpse of what’s on my Kindle, don’t be surprised that you won’t find any Dickens or a single Shakespeare play. What you will find is the same trilogy that millions of ladies have been downloading, trading, discussing, whispering, shouting, and patiently waiting for the move version, 50 Shades of Grey.

I assumed I’d be catching Mr. Grey in all his glory on the big screen with a few of my gal pals, but a producer from The Today Show called and because I sent them a silly caption from one of the movie stills, they asked if I would fly to NYC for their special screening and ask the stars of the film a few questions. I tried to act really cool on the phone (take deep breaths) but I’m sure my inner “SQUEEEEEEEEEE!” was showing!

“Oh sure, that sounds fun. I could do that.” SQUEEEEEE!!!!

Caption

Here is how I got ready for my trip:

1. Call up your best gal pal and scream into the phone “I’m going to be on the Today Show! Get a babysitter because we are flying to NYC to see 50 Shades of Grey!” Wait for her confusion then her screams of joy.

2. Get your mom to watch your kids. Assure her the NEXT time you are on the Today Show you will take her.

3.Shop for something fabulous to wear and shop fast.

4. Get your nails and hair did.

5. Be prepared to feel like a celebrity for two days. Understand  reality will come crashing down, but not yet!

Obviously having a car pick us up at the airport totally did NOT go to my head–whatever, it was pretty rad—

IMG_6123

I’d like to thank my kids for getting up insanely early every morning. Because of them, I was actually able to get myself up, ready and down to the car that would take us to the event at 5:30 in the morning. Since I was a guest of the Today Show, we walked right in, but hundreds and hundreds of ladies were waiting outside in the frigid 10 degree weather to get inside. Insane!

On the “grey carpet” were lines and lines of fellas handing out yummy drinks. If THIS is the kind of stuff that happens at red carpet events, count me in, friends.

IMG_6126

It’s always key to take your super fabulous friend who adores NYC just as much as you do and appreciates and practices going a little bananas for celebrities much like myself. I heart her. IMG_6133Funny thing about the audience, they were all women. The only men were the ones working for the Today Show.

IMG_6153The day before I planned everything I would say to the author E.L. James. Then I met her and said something stupid like “I’m so excited!”  Good one, Amanda. Definitely one she will remember.

IMG_6156

Then there were ear-piercing screams from the back of the theater. No need to panic.Mr. Grey just entered the building. 50 ShadesAfter the first set of interviews with the stars of the film and the writer, the movie started (again so awkward to watch this movie at 7:30 in the morning) and we all settled in for the movie we’ve been anticipating!

Check out my vlog where I’m giving my honest review of the film!

After the movie wrapped up, all of the cameras and lights were back on and it was my turn to be on camera and ask the stars a few questions!

Knowing my entire family was at home with the DVR set, I made sure I didn’t have lipstick on my teeth, walked up next to Carson Daily and…. they ran out of time.

So I didn’t get to ask my question, but I did get on camera much to the happiness of my mother who will tell everyone this story for the rest of her life.

Natalie Morales was so sweet and apologized for running out of time for our segment, grabbed my hand, and said “let’s get some pictures with Jamie and Dakota.” And that, friends, is how Natalie because my favorite person forever.

Not only is he gorgeous, ladies. @jamiedornan smells really good too #FiftyShadesFirst @todayshow

A video posted by QuestionableChoicesInParenting (@questionablecip) on


The entire time I was in New York I kept saying “This is so absurd. All of it. It’s so absurd.”  Fantastic and absurd but totally amazing. See, your English teachers were right, reading DOES open all kinds of doors.